After Bill was born, she now had three children to take care of: ages five, one and a newborn. She stayed home to be a mother and a wife. It kept her very busy all of the time. Remember, this was before any of the modern conveniences mothers have today. There were no disposable diapers or disposable bottles. She mixed her own formula for the baby bottles and mashed up food for them to eat. Frankie never learned to drive a car. (As a matter of fact, her sister, Kay never learned to drive a car either and she lived to be 80). Whenever my mother needed to go shopping or to appointments, she had to load up the three children and take busses wherever she went.
For his entire working life, my father, Ralph, was always a traveling salesman. He worked for many different companies over the years, but was constantly on the road and rarely ever came home. Frankie found her life very stifling. She was in a loveless, lonely marriage with little companionship other than her children. She was a heavy smoker for all of her adult life and then she started drinking heavily too.
When her husband did come home, he saw the state she was in and began being very abusive to her both verbally and physically. She felt trapped. With very little education and no skills to go to work, she accepted her fate and stayed in her nightmare of a marriage and her miserable existence.
*******
The children were growing and when Jim was ten, Beverly five, and Bill four years old, she discovered she was pregnant again. Now Frankie felt completely lost and hopeless. She couldn’t bear to stay married to Ralph and start raising yet another child. She began going out by herself and leaving the children at home alone, sometimes even overnight. The abuse from her husband had escalated over the years and now she was not only abused but had become an alcoholic. Next, she started having her doctor prescribe sleeping pills.
Ralph informed her that as soon as she had the baby, he was going to take the four children from her and get a divorce. She was relieved knowing she would get away from him but devastated by the thought of losing her children. From what I was told, she had become very close to her physician, Doctor Shay. He told her he would help her with the divorce and help her retain custody of the children.
On November 19, 1942, Frankie’s fourth child was delivered by Doctor Shay. It was a girl she named Sharon. The baby girl was me. Dr. Shay found my mother a place to stay hoping she and her children would be safe and Ralph would not know where she was. He also hired an attorney to represent her in the divorce.
Unfortunately, Ralph did find her. One day (or perhaps night) he kidnapped the four of us. I was seven months old. His plan was to take us to New Jersey and try to talk his mother or his sister or one of his brothers to take care of us until he figured out what to do with us. We rode a train all the way across the country from Seattle to New York. I guess it was a harrowing trip, especially with me in diapers and drinking a bottle.
The reception he got from his family was not what he had hoped it would be. They still had not forgiven him for his betrayal of their Aunt Leah and the resulting disinheritance. They refused to help him in any way. He moved the five of us into a hotel in New York City. He just couldn’t figure out what to do with us, so he resorted to contacting Frankie and having her come to New York to retrieve us. The only photograph I have with my entire family when I was a baby was taken of us sitting at a table in a restaurant there. We look like the picture of a happy family. Pictures can be deceiving…
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
REBUTTAL
**** I am going to continue writing my blog again but I have decided for now to leave this post in until I feel I can remove it at a later time. This incident has caused great problems and grief for me. *******
***************
I have decided to quit writing my blog on the Internet for awhile and will continue to write it in private. A certain individual has accused me of copying her blog, almost word for word. I want to state here that it is NOT true in any way, shape or form.
I began writing my story over five years ago. This is my story in my own words - no one else’s. All I have done so far is to copy and paste what I wrote a long time ago onto this blog. I have no interest, need, desire or intention of "stealing" someone else's life story or writing abilities. To do so would not only be ridiculous, but stupid. I would not even be writing my life story if I needed to depend on someone else’s writing skills. If I needed to do that I would hire someone else to write it for me.
I took five writing classes in five quarters of college in preparation for writing my story. Over the years I have read at least 50 Biographies and Autobiographies to get a feel for how others wrote their story and to learn what I liked and didn't like about how they wrote it. I also wanted to learn the kinds of things I didn't want to incorporate into my story. That is the only outside influence, whatsoever, that I have ever had.
I am writing my story because I have been told for years, by many, that I should write it. Also, my children have begged me for years to write it, not only for them but for all of my descendents. I didn’t even have a chance to get to the best parts of my life story here because I feel I am being forced to quit.
My accuser believes that I have read her story and used her words and her phrases in order to write mine. When, in fact I have read very little of her story and have no desire to copy one thing she has written, nor her style of writing. If a sentence or two resemble something she wrote, it is simply a coincidence and nothing more.
***************
I have decided to quit writing my blog on the Internet for awhile and will continue to write it in private. A certain individual has accused me of copying her blog, almost word for word. I want to state here that it is NOT true in any way, shape or form.
I began writing my story over five years ago. This is my story in my own words - no one else’s. All I have done so far is to copy and paste what I wrote a long time ago onto this blog. I have no interest, need, desire or intention of "stealing" someone else's life story or writing abilities. To do so would not only be ridiculous, but stupid. I would not even be writing my life story if I needed to depend on someone else’s writing skills. If I needed to do that I would hire someone else to write it for me.
I took five writing classes in five quarters of college in preparation for writing my story. Over the years I have read at least 50 Biographies and Autobiographies to get a feel for how others wrote their story and to learn what I liked and didn't like about how they wrote it. I also wanted to learn the kinds of things I didn't want to incorporate into my story. That is the only outside influence, whatsoever, that I have ever had.
I am writing my story because I have been told for years, by many, that I should write it. Also, my children have begged me for years to write it, not only for them but for all of my descendents. I didn’t even have a chance to get to the best parts of my life story here because I feel I am being forced to quit.
My accuser believes that I have read her story and used her words and her phrases in order to write mine. When, in fact I have read very little of her story and have no desire to copy one thing she has written, nor her style of writing. If a sentence or two resemble something she wrote, it is simply a coincidence and nothing more.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Chapter 2, Part 3 - THE ELEVATOR GIRL AND THE PLAYER
You probably have an idea of the picture… My father fancied himself as quite the ladies man, commonly known as a “Player”. My mother was uneducated, innocent, and completely inexperienced and unaware of the ways of the world…in other words naïve and not “street smart”. She was 18 and had the job of running the elevator in the club where my father lived. Back then there were no push button self contained elevators. She manually operated the elevator using a projecting handle located on a round casing that swiveled 180 degrees from the left to the right. The elevator would go up (to the right) and down (to the left). There were two sets of doors. The inside door was a metal folding grate and the outside doors were metal. Both were opened and closed manually. It took lots of practice to learn how to make the elevator stop evenly at each floor….level with the floor…so no one tripped.
My father was 35 and still a bachelor. It surprises me that they would have a female running the elevator in an all men’s club, but they did. This I know because not only did I hear the story from my father, but my mother also verified the same story.
My mother was very attractive and my father liked the ladies! After flirting with her for several weeks when he rode the elevator, he invited her to his room. He said he wanted to “show her something”. She went with him to see what he had. He had bought 3 very expensive dresses…which just happened to be in her size. I don’t know the exact words used, what was said or how he approached the subject, but it was clear that she could have the dresses if she would “date” him.
Our father told the four of us (their children) this story in front of her at my sister’s wedding. She sheepishly acknowledged to all four of us that she really wanted those dresses! I’ll always remember the look on her face, it was just priceless….adorable.
Nine months later, my oldest brother, Jim, was born. My mother was not married and back then such a thing was considered socially deplorable, so she left town to have the baby. She returned to Seattle with Jim and struggled to support and take care of herself and him. When Jim was about 2 he developed Rickets. She then turned to my father for help. He did come to her aid and my brother was nursed back to health. She started seeing him again, off and on.
When Jim was 4, Frankie discovered she was pregnant again. She begged Ralph to marry her but he wasn’t anxious to settle down yet. Somehow she persuaded him and when she was nine months pregnant with my sister, Beverly, they got married. She was 23 and he was 40. One year and one day after Bev was born, she gave birth to my brother, Bill. By this time they were living in a house as a family. This was just the beginning of her problems.
My father was 35 and still a bachelor. It surprises me that they would have a female running the elevator in an all men’s club, but they did. This I know because not only did I hear the story from my father, but my mother also verified the same story.
My mother was very attractive and my father liked the ladies! After flirting with her for several weeks when he rode the elevator, he invited her to his room. He said he wanted to “show her something”. She went with him to see what he had. He had bought 3 very expensive dresses…which just happened to be in her size. I don’t know the exact words used, what was said or how he approached the subject, but it was clear that she could have the dresses if she would “date” him.
Our father told the four of us (their children) this story in front of her at my sister’s wedding. She sheepishly acknowledged to all four of us that she really wanted those dresses! I’ll always remember the look on her face, it was just priceless….adorable.
Nine months later, my oldest brother, Jim, was born. My mother was not married and back then such a thing was considered socially deplorable, so she left town to have the baby. She returned to Seattle with Jim and struggled to support and take care of herself and him. When Jim was about 2 he developed Rickets. She then turned to my father for help. He did come to her aid and my brother was nursed back to health. She started seeing him again, off and on.
When Jim was 4, Frankie discovered she was pregnant again. She begged Ralph to marry her but he wasn’t anxious to settle down yet. Somehow she persuaded him and when she was nine months pregnant with my sister, Beverly, they got married. She was 23 and he was 40. One year and one day after Bev was born, she gave birth to my brother, Bill. By this time they were living in a house as a family. This was just the beginning of her problems.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Chapter 2, Part 2 - MY MOTHER
My grandparents on my mother’s side emigrated from Krakow, Poland in the early 1900’s. During that time, Canada was offering land to foreigners for free if they would move there to homestead. The land they acquired was in the Province of Saskatchewan. I don’t know how much land, but I think it was about five or ten acres. They had three children that they brought with them from Poland and would end up having a total of thirteen children. Their last name was Yaworski. I don’t know my grandparents’ first names.
My mother’s sister Katherine (Kay) was the oldest child and she was born in Krakow. My mother’s name was Frances (Frankie) and she never knew when she was born. Her mother gave birth to all of her children at home. When they had a chance to travel to the nearest town they would file papers to record the birth. The date the papers were filed became their official “birthday”. Frankie’s birthday was listed as February 9, 1914. She was somewhere in the middle of the birth order. She had several older brothers and two older sisters (Kay and Nettie). She also had several younger brothers and one younger sister (Elsie). All total, there were four girls and nine boys. There was also a boy who died on the boat during the trip from Poland, so there were 14 children.
They were extremely poor. They had a very small house that their father built himself, and a barn. There was a fireplace and a wood stove for cooking and baking. They kept it burning most of the time to also keep the house warm. It gets very cold in Saskatchewan. They had no electricity or running water. They had a well and hauled their water in buckets into the house. Of course, they used an outdoors outhouse to go to the bathroom. Everyone had horse drawn wagons for travel because there were no cars, nor paved roads. The family grew most of their food and raised cows, chickens, geese and pigs. I don’t know how they got their clothes but I’m sure they must have been made at home.
When they would go to town, the children saw other people there who had fine clothes and fancy carriages. They also attended school with other children who were far better off than they were. My aunt Kay and my mother wondered about that. They couldn’t figure out why they seemed to be the poorest family around. Since there were only four girls in the family, they were made to do all of the “women’s work” which kept them out of school a great deal. They began to resent their entire living situation.
Their mother (my grandmother) had epilepsy. One day she had a seizure and fell onto the hot wood stove. She was seriously burned. From what I was told, she was bedridden for almost an entire year while her burns healed. During that time, she gave birth to another child!! Kay and Frankie had to raise the smaller children. They were also illiterate because they missed so much school and they couldn’t afford to buy books to have at home. Their parents never learned to speak English.
When my aunt Kay was around 21 and my mother was 16, they ran away together. They never returned to Saskatchewan. I don’t know the entire story but I know they went to Chicago, Illinois and somehow ended up in Seattle, Washington. Frankie got a job when she was 18 at the Washington Athletic Club, as an elevator operator. She was quite pretty and caught the eye of my father who lived there....
My mother’s sister Katherine (Kay) was the oldest child and she was born in Krakow. My mother’s name was Frances (Frankie) and she never knew when she was born. Her mother gave birth to all of her children at home. When they had a chance to travel to the nearest town they would file papers to record the birth. The date the papers were filed became their official “birthday”. Frankie’s birthday was listed as February 9, 1914. She was somewhere in the middle of the birth order. She had several older brothers and two older sisters (Kay and Nettie). She also had several younger brothers and one younger sister (Elsie). All total, there were four girls and nine boys. There was also a boy who died on the boat during the trip from Poland, so there were 14 children.
They were extremely poor. They had a very small house that their father built himself, and a barn. There was a fireplace and a wood stove for cooking and baking. They kept it burning most of the time to also keep the house warm. It gets very cold in Saskatchewan. They had no electricity or running water. They had a well and hauled their water in buckets into the house. Of course, they used an outdoors outhouse to go to the bathroom. Everyone had horse drawn wagons for travel because there were no cars, nor paved roads. The family grew most of their food and raised cows, chickens, geese and pigs. I don’t know how they got their clothes but I’m sure they must have been made at home.
When they would go to town, the children saw other people there who had fine clothes and fancy carriages. They also attended school with other children who were far better off than they were. My aunt Kay and my mother wondered about that. They couldn’t figure out why they seemed to be the poorest family around. Since there were only four girls in the family, they were made to do all of the “women’s work” which kept them out of school a great deal. They began to resent their entire living situation.
Their mother (my grandmother) had epilepsy. One day she had a seizure and fell onto the hot wood stove. She was seriously burned. From what I was told, she was bedridden for almost an entire year while her burns healed. During that time, she gave birth to another child!! Kay and Frankie had to raise the smaller children. They were also illiterate because they missed so much school and they couldn’t afford to buy books to have at home. Their parents never learned to speak English.
When my aunt Kay was around 21 and my mother was 16, they ran away together. They never returned to Saskatchewan. I don’t know the entire story but I know they went to Chicago, Illinois and somehow ended up in Seattle, Washington. Frankie got a job when she was 18 at the Washington Athletic Club, as an elevator operator. She was quite pretty and caught the eye of my father who lived there....
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
MY FAMILY HISTORY
Chapter 2, Part 1 - MY FATHER
Before talking about the second boarding school I attended, I wanted to tell a brief history about my ancestors. There is little I know about my family tree but want to write down what I do know so it is documented here for my descendants.
My grandparents on my father’s side were all born in the USA and were descended from England. I know nothing about my great-grandparents. My grandparents lived in Hardwick, Massachusetts, a very small town. My grandfather was a barber and the town lamplighter. The street lights were gaslights and needed to be lit every evening. This was prior to electricity. My grandmother’s name was Maude. Other than that, there is nothing else I know about them.
My father was born in Hardwick on July 5, 1897. He had three brothers and one sister. I don’t know the birth order but I do know his sister was the youngest. Their names were typical of the times and I find them amusing. They were Charles Stanley (Rogers), Arthur Oswald, Clarence Ralph, Waldo and Gertrude. (I don’t know the middle names of the last two). My father hated his name because at the time there was a newspaper cartoon about a dufus called “Clarence the Cop”. As soon as he was old enough he legally changed it to Ralph Clarence Rogers, or Ralph C. Rogers. He tried to never divulge that his middle name was Clarence. He also always told everyone that his birthday was on July 4th. He said “the entire nation celebrates my birthday!!!”
All three brothers grew up to be successful. Each one of them owned their own business. They all moved to New Jersey when they were adults. Waldo owned a paint store and was also a painter. His claim to fame was he had a contract and was the one who painted the gold ball on the top of the Lightning Rod at the very tip top of the Empire State Building. Gertrude married a man who owned a large tile company and his claim to fame was that his company tiled the Holland Tunnel. Gertrude never had children and she lived very extravagantly with marble floors, expensive imported furniture, lots of fur coats, gold and diamonds. I don’t remember what my other uncles did for a living.
Ralph was the “black sheep” of the family. He learned early on that he had a very wealthy aunt who lived in Victoria, Canada. She was a widow and her husband had founded a very prominent candy company called “Rogers Chocolates” which she inherited. She had no children. Her name was Leah Rogers. As soon as he was able, Ralph moved to Victoria to visit his poor, lonely aunt to keep her company.
He arrived in Canada during the Depression. He convinced his Aunt Leah to accompany him on a trip that took them all over England and Europe. They were gone for over a year. In those days, there were no airplanes so to go to Europe so you had to take a boat. They sailed on the Cunard Lines. There were two main cruise ship companies, The Cunard Lines and White Star Lines. The Titanic was one of the White Star Line Ships. I still have a trunk full of memorabilia from his trip including 16 mm films he took with a movie camera.
Naturally, his Aunt paid for everything and he was her “escort”. I was told once that she really didn’t know she was paying for it until sometime after the tour was over.
Something happened that turned his aunt against him (I think it was because he was spending all of her money and lying to her) and she kicked him out. As a result she disinherited him, his mother and his brothers and sister. For this he was black-balled from his own family and asked to never return to New Jersey.
While he was living with his aunt he became quite the “man about town” hob-nobbing with the elite rich. Somehow he even hung out with the, The Duke and Duchess of Windsor; Prince Edward the eighth, Prince of Whales, and his wife Wallis Simpson. The Prince had been King Edward and he abdicated the throne to marry a divorced woman, which meant he could no longer be King. I have a picture of my father with the Prince. I also saw at one time a trunk full of old newspapers with many articles about Ralph Rogers, the “socialite”. The trunk got stolen sometime in the 1960’s.
Ralph claimed to be a cousin of Will Rogers and I have a picture of them together. It was taken at the airport in Seattle just hours before Will Rogers’ plane crashed. He was killed along with his pilot Wiley Post. I have never been able to verify that they were actually related. Ralph said his father and Will Rogers’ father were brothers.
I also have a picture of him with Jean Harlow and I don’t know how he met her. He was close friends with and hung out with Jimmy McLarnin, who was a two-time World Welterweight Champion Boxer. I met Mr. McLarnin when I first moved to Hollywood, where he lived at the time. I was able to verify that he was indeed a close friend of my father’s.
After being kicked out of his aunt’s house, he moved to Seattle, Washington. He lived in the Washington Athletic Club which was a high-end exclusive apartment/club for men. It was required that you be a member in order to live there. It is still there in Seattle and still very expensive and exclusive. There are also shops, restaurants, work-out rooms and a pool along with living quarters. It is rather like an expensive hotel. I will tell how he met my mother after I tell you about her upbringing and what brought her to Seattle.
Before talking about the second boarding school I attended, I wanted to tell a brief history about my ancestors. There is little I know about my family tree but want to write down what I do know so it is documented here for my descendants.
My grandparents on my father’s side were all born in the USA and were descended from England. I know nothing about my great-grandparents. My grandparents lived in Hardwick, Massachusetts, a very small town. My grandfather was a barber and the town lamplighter. The street lights were gaslights and needed to be lit every evening. This was prior to electricity. My grandmother’s name was Maude. Other than that, there is nothing else I know about them.
My father was born in Hardwick on July 5, 1897. He had three brothers and one sister. I don’t know the birth order but I do know his sister was the youngest. Their names were typical of the times and I find them amusing. They were Charles Stanley (Rogers), Arthur Oswald, Clarence Ralph, Waldo and Gertrude. (I don’t know the middle names of the last two). My father hated his name because at the time there was a newspaper cartoon about a dufus called “Clarence the Cop”. As soon as he was old enough he legally changed it to Ralph Clarence Rogers, or Ralph C. Rogers. He tried to never divulge that his middle name was Clarence. He also always told everyone that his birthday was on July 4th. He said “the entire nation celebrates my birthday!!!”
All three brothers grew up to be successful. Each one of them owned their own business. They all moved to New Jersey when they were adults. Waldo owned a paint store and was also a painter. His claim to fame was he had a contract and was the one who painted the gold ball on the top of the Lightning Rod at the very tip top of the Empire State Building. Gertrude married a man who owned a large tile company and his claim to fame was that his company tiled the Holland Tunnel. Gertrude never had children and she lived very extravagantly with marble floors, expensive imported furniture, lots of fur coats, gold and diamonds. I don’t remember what my other uncles did for a living.
Ralph was the “black sheep” of the family. He learned early on that he had a very wealthy aunt who lived in Victoria, Canada. She was a widow and her husband had founded a very prominent candy company called “Rogers Chocolates” which she inherited. She had no children. Her name was Leah Rogers. As soon as he was able, Ralph moved to Victoria to visit his poor, lonely aunt to keep her company.
He arrived in Canada during the Depression. He convinced his Aunt Leah to accompany him on a trip that took them all over England and Europe. They were gone for over a year. In those days, there were no airplanes so to go to Europe so you had to take a boat. They sailed on the Cunard Lines. There were two main cruise ship companies, The Cunard Lines and White Star Lines. The Titanic was one of the White Star Line Ships. I still have a trunk full of memorabilia from his trip including 16 mm films he took with a movie camera.
Naturally, his Aunt paid for everything and he was her “escort”. I was told once that she really didn’t know she was paying for it until sometime after the tour was over.
Something happened that turned his aunt against him (I think it was because he was spending all of her money and lying to her) and she kicked him out. As a result she disinherited him, his mother and his brothers and sister. For this he was black-balled from his own family and asked to never return to New Jersey.
While he was living with his aunt he became quite the “man about town” hob-nobbing with the elite rich. Somehow he even hung out with the, The Duke and Duchess of Windsor; Prince Edward the eighth, Prince of Whales, and his wife Wallis Simpson. The Prince had been King Edward and he abdicated the throne to marry a divorced woman, which meant he could no longer be King. I have a picture of my father with the Prince. I also saw at one time a trunk full of old newspapers with many articles about Ralph Rogers, the “socialite”. The trunk got stolen sometime in the 1960’s.
Ralph claimed to be a cousin of Will Rogers and I have a picture of them together. It was taken at the airport in Seattle just hours before Will Rogers’ plane crashed. He was killed along with his pilot Wiley Post. I have never been able to verify that they were actually related. Ralph said his father and Will Rogers’ father were brothers.
I also have a picture of him with Jean Harlow and I don’t know how he met her. He was close friends with and hung out with Jimmy McLarnin, who was a two-time World Welterweight Champion Boxer. I met Mr. McLarnin when I first moved to Hollywood, where he lived at the time. I was able to verify that he was indeed a close friend of my father’s.
After being kicked out of his aunt’s house, he moved to Seattle, Washington. He lived in the Washington Athletic Club which was a high-end exclusive apartment/club for men. It was required that you be a member in order to live there. It is still there in Seattle and still very expensive and exclusive. There are also shops, restaurants, work-out rooms and a pool along with living quarters. It is rather like an expensive hotel. I will tell how he met my mother after I tell you about her upbringing and what brought her to Seattle.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Chapter 1, Part 4 - CONTINUED...
During the summer, Bev, Bill and I attended summer camps, usually for 12 weeks. We would arrive one to two weeks before the other campers arrived and we would stay the same amount of time after they all left. We would work preparing things beforehand and putting things away afterward. We went to a camp in Issaquah when it was nothing but woods and a teeny tiny town. Now it is a big town, full of luxurious homes and hardly any woods.
For several years we went to a camp on Orcas Island in the San Juan Islands called “Four Winds”. It is still there. It was by far the nicest (ritziest) camp we ever attended. It was very expensive. Bev and Bill worked there as counselors to help pay for me to stay there. We wore uniforms. The girls wore a middy and tie, like sailors wear, and bloomers! The boys wore a middy and bell bottom trousers or shorts. The owner of the camp was from England. There were sail boats of all sizes, horses, catamarans, canoes and row boats. We played tennis and badminton. There were six campers and a counselor to each log cabin. Each cabin had a fireplace. We went clam digging and had fires on the beach. The activities were planned and never-ending. It was fantastic!
The majority of campers were from extremely wealthy families. Many of them came from far away places, even Europe and South America. Some even flew in on private jets. One of the campers had a bodyguard that was with him all the time. His name was Bobby Brinks. His father owned Brinks Armored Trucks and there had been threats of kidnapping. The parents of campers from Texas owned cattle ranches and oil wells.
I was so happy to be with my brother whenever I could. He moved to Wisconsin when my father sent him to “St. John’s Military Academy”, a rigid military school, for his last three high school years. I loved him so much and really missed him. I would only see him at Christmas and in the summer. We corresponded by writing letters. Being at that school really destroyed him mentally. It started him on a downward spiral into severe mental instability.
********
Several events led up to Bev, Bill and I being put in boarding schools. Our parents divorced when I was still an infant. There was an ongoing custody battle and we were bounced back and forth between our mother and father for almost 5 years. When I was five, my sister, two brothers and I were living with my mother in Kirkland. My mother was extremely poor. We lived in an old, run down, housing development that once had been army barracks. Kirkland is now where the very wealthy live, mainly because of Microsoft.
One morning we were sitting at the breakfast table when my mother fell backwards off of her chair. We thought she had hit her head and knocked herself out. My oldest brother, Jim, ran to the neighbors and they called an ambulance. It turned out she had suffered a massive stroke. Back then, the way to treat stroke victims wasn’t perfected yet and so she never really recovered from it. For the rest of her life, she couldn’t talk or use her right arm or her right leg. She was 34.
As a result, my father gained custody. He put us each in separate foster homes until he could figure out what to do next. We were in foster homes for about six to eight months. I don’t remember a lot about them but I do remember not liking them, missing my family and feeling abandoned. I personally remember being in three different foster homes. Then, my father rented a house in Portland, Oregon and hired a nanny to live with us and take care of the four of us. That didn’t last long because she found the responsibility overwhelming and subsequently quit.
That was when our father decided to put us in boarding schools. Jim was 11 years older than me, so he was 16. He ran away at that time because he had no intention of going to a boarding school or Military Academy. I didn’t see him again for 7 years. We would only get to see our mother, who lived in Seattle, about once or twice a year. She became a hopeless, helpless alcoholic. Our father made us tell the nuns that she was dead because divorce was taboo in the Catholic Church. Our father did not allow us to visit her at first so I didn’t see her again for several years. She died of a second stroke at age 44, when I was fifteen.
For several years we went to a camp on Orcas Island in the San Juan Islands called “Four Winds”. It is still there. It was by far the nicest (ritziest) camp we ever attended. It was very expensive. Bev and Bill worked there as counselors to help pay for me to stay there. We wore uniforms. The girls wore a middy and tie, like sailors wear, and bloomers! The boys wore a middy and bell bottom trousers or shorts. The owner of the camp was from England. There were sail boats of all sizes, horses, catamarans, canoes and row boats. We played tennis and badminton. There were six campers and a counselor to each log cabin. Each cabin had a fireplace. We went clam digging and had fires on the beach. The activities were planned and never-ending. It was fantastic!
The majority of campers were from extremely wealthy families. Many of them came from far away places, even Europe and South America. Some even flew in on private jets. One of the campers had a bodyguard that was with him all the time. His name was Bobby Brinks. His father owned Brinks Armored Trucks and there had been threats of kidnapping. The parents of campers from Texas owned cattle ranches and oil wells.
I was so happy to be with my brother whenever I could. He moved to Wisconsin when my father sent him to “St. John’s Military Academy”, a rigid military school, for his last three high school years. I loved him so much and really missed him. I would only see him at Christmas and in the summer. We corresponded by writing letters. Being at that school really destroyed him mentally. It started him on a downward spiral into severe mental instability.
********
Several events led up to Bev, Bill and I being put in boarding schools. Our parents divorced when I was still an infant. There was an ongoing custody battle and we were bounced back and forth between our mother and father for almost 5 years. When I was five, my sister, two brothers and I were living with my mother in Kirkland. My mother was extremely poor. We lived in an old, run down, housing development that once had been army barracks. Kirkland is now where the very wealthy live, mainly because of Microsoft.
One morning we were sitting at the breakfast table when my mother fell backwards off of her chair. We thought she had hit her head and knocked herself out. My oldest brother, Jim, ran to the neighbors and they called an ambulance. It turned out she had suffered a massive stroke. Back then, the way to treat stroke victims wasn’t perfected yet and so she never really recovered from it. For the rest of her life, she couldn’t talk or use her right arm or her right leg. She was 34.
As a result, my father gained custody. He put us each in separate foster homes until he could figure out what to do next. We were in foster homes for about six to eight months. I don’t remember a lot about them but I do remember not liking them, missing my family and feeling abandoned. I personally remember being in three different foster homes. Then, my father rented a house in Portland, Oregon and hired a nanny to live with us and take care of the four of us. That didn’t last long because she found the responsibility overwhelming and subsequently quit.
That was when our father decided to put us in boarding schools. Jim was 11 years older than me, so he was 16. He ran away at that time because he had no intention of going to a boarding school or Military Academy. I didn’t see him again for 7 years. We would only get to see our mother, who lived in Seattle, about once or twice a year. She became a hopeless, helpless alcoholic. Our father made us tell the nuns that she was dead because divorce was taboo in the Catholic Church. Our father did not allow us to visit her at first so I didn’t see her again for several years. She died of a second stroke at age 44, when I was fifteen.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Chapter 1, Part 3 - LIFE AS A BOARDER
The Visitation Nuns were an unusual order because many of them had been married and raised families of their own. After their children were grown and their husband had died, they joined the convent. All other orders of nuns are made up of girls who join at a young age and remain virgins their entire lives. The Visitation Nuns were older and had softer, more motherly natures. This would not be the case in the next boarding school I would attend.
The grade school girls slept in the dorm, but the middle and high school girls slept two to a room. The oldest girls were each “assigned” one of the littlest girls to take under their wing. Betty Jo Benson was to be my mentor. I immediately became attached to her. To me she was the prettiest and smartest lady in the whole world. Amazingly, when I was in my mid-thirties and living in Olympia, I discovered that she was living about a mile from me. I had met her son through a neighbor and somehow he had mentioned that his mom had gone to boarding school. Since that is quite unusual, I pressed him for more information and it turned out that his mom was Betty Jo! I still had her picture in my photo album!
Our days were rigidly routine. On any day at any time we would be doing the same exact thing we had done the day before and would do the same the following day. We got up, washed, dressed, attended Mass, and ate breakfast. Then we would go back to the dorm to give it a thorough cleaning, which would be inspected like barracks in the military. Then we would attend class. Also attending the school were “day students”. Not all of the girls were boarders; some lived at home and just attended classes during the day.
After school, the day students would go home and the boarders would have an hour of playtime. Next, we had an hour of study hall in one of the classrooms before dinner. After dinner, another playtime and study time and then we got ready for bed. Three evenings a week we would attend Benediction, a prayer ceremony in the Catholic religion. This is what I did every day for 5 years.
All of us wore uniforms every day. They consisted of a navy blue pleated skirt, a white blouse and a navy blue cardigan sweater. We wore knee-hi navy blue stockings and highly polished brown Oxford shoes tied with shoestrings.
A special time was set aside once a week to learn “etiquette”. We would all sit around a table set with plates, glasses and silverware to learn the proper way to eat, sit, and even how to wipe your mouth. Also included were where and how to place your napkin before, during and after you were finished eating. Very important was which plates, glasses and silverware to use for each course.
We learned how to set a table for a meal so we would know exactly where to place each item. There actually is a particular place for each plate, glass and utensil. There is also a proper way to use and pass around each serving dish with the food. We needed to know where to place each piece of silverware on each plate while you are eating and even what to do with your chair. Proper manners at the table and everywhere else was closely monitored and stressed.
*****
One of my fondest memories there was the winter of 1950/51. It was a record-breaking snowfall that year. That record still remains at the time of this writing. There was enough snow to build igloos, snow fences, snow forts plus the usual snowmen and lots of snowballs.
One day the nuns called me outside all excited. They yelled “Sharon, Sharon come outside and see!! I went outside and they showed me reindeer prints and sled tracks where Santa Claus had landed and then took off again. I was in awe! I just stood there with my mouth open for the longest time. Looking back, I think it was so sweet of them to go to the trouble it must have taken to do that for me.
The town of Lakewood is now a big city but back then it was mostly woods. There was a tiny “mall” called the “Lakewood Center” that had a few clothing stores, a movie theater, a soda shop and a dentist office. It was about a mile from the school. It was a big treat for me whenever I got to walk there to go to the dentist. He always gave me a ticket for a free ice cream cone in the soda shop, for being a good patient. The nuns would never leave the convent, so one of the older girls, or Betty Jo, would take me.
The boarders were never allowed to stay at the school on Holidays or during the summer. My brother, Bill, was 5 five years older than me and he was attending Mary Mount Military Academy in Parkland, nearby. On Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, my father would pick the three of us up and we would stay in a Hotel somewhere.
My father’s job kept him on the road all the time and he didn’t have a permanent residence. When we wrote him letters, we mailed them to his main office in Chicago and his boss would make sure he got them. I always knew when my father had arrived to pick us up because I could smell his cigar smoke wafting in the hallways.
We would have a ball staying in the Hotels. We ate in the restaurants and went to movies. This was a time when television was just starting to come into being and few people had television sets. If you were lucky enough to come upon a TV, there were only two channels and they weren’t “on” all of the time. Sometimes for hours during the daytime, there would just be a test pattern on the screen. So, movies were a very special treat. Back then we were particularly fond of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis movies.
I want to interject something I remember clearly about my father. He was bald, heavyset, very loud and outspoken. He was 45 when I was born and 17 years older than my mother. He continually embarrassed all of us wherever we went. I could go into lots of detail about that but I will save it for a later chapter. The nuns always welcomed him with big smiles and were very nice to him. His interpretation of their kindness and friendliness was that they were starved for male attention and were also very attracted to him.
He would always sit in one of the chairs in the Parlor so he was sitting at the front edge of the chair. With his legs spread, his balls would hang down over the edge of the chair. He thought he was giving the nuns a thrill, but I was always extremely embarrassed. My sister and I constantly pleaded with him to stop doing that but he did it every time.
The grade school girls slept in the dorm, but the middle and high school girls slept two to a room. The oldest girls were each “assigned” one of the littlest girls to take under their wing. Betty Jo Benson was to be my mentor. I immediately became attached to her. To me she was the prettiest and smartest lady in the whole world. Amazingly, when I was in my mid-thirties and living in Olympia, I discovered that she was living about a mile from me. I had met her son through a neighbor and somehow he had mentioned that his mom had gone to boarding school. Since that is quite unusual, I pressed him for more information and it turned out that his mom was Betty Jo! I still had her picture in my photo album!
Our days were rigidly routine. On any day at any time we would be doing the same exact thing we had done the day before and would do the same the following day. We got up, washed, dressed, attended Mass, and ate breakfast. Then we would go back to the dorm to give it a thorough cleaning, which would be inspected like barracks in the military. Then we would attend class. Also attending the school were “day students”. Not all of the girls were boarders; some lived at home and just attended classes during the day.
After school, the day students would go home and the boarders would have an hour of playtime. Next, we had an hour of study hall in one of the classrooms before dinner. After dinner, another playtime and study time and then we got ready for bed. Three evenings a week we would attend Benediction, a prayer ceremony in the Catholic religion. This is what I did every day for 5 years.
All of us wore uniforms every day. They consisted of a navy blue pleated skirt, a white blouse and a navy blue cardigan sweater. We wore knee-hi navy blue stockings and highly polished brown Oxford shoes tied with shoestrings.
A special time was set aside once a week to learn “etiquette”. We would all sit around a table set with plates, glasses and silverware to learn the proper way to eat, sit, and even how to wipe your mouth. Also included were where and how to place your napkin before, during and after you were finished eating. Very important was which plates, glasses and silverware to use for each course.
We learned how to set a table for a meal so we would know exactly where to place each item. There actually is a particular place for each plate, glass and utensil. There is also a proper way to use and pass around each serving dish with the food. We needed to know where to place each piece of silverware on each plate while you are eating and even what to do with your chair. Proper manners at the table and everywhere else was closely monitored and stressed.
*****
One of my fondest memories there was the winter of 1950/51. It was a record-breaking snowfall that year. That record still remains at the time of this writing. There was enough snow to build igloos, snow fences, snow forts plus the usual snowmen and lots of snowballs.
One day the nuns called me outside all excited. They yelled “Sharon, Sharon come outside and see!! I went outside and they showed me reindeer prints and sled tracks where Santa Claus had landed and then took off again. I was in awe! I just stood there with my mouth open for the longest time. Looking back, I think it was so sweet of them to go to the trouble it must have taken to do that for me.
The town of Lakewood is now a big city but back then it was mostly woods. There was a tiny “mall” called the “Lakewood Center” that had a few clothing stores, a movie theater, a soda shop and a dentist office. It was about a mile from the school. It was a big treat for me whenever I got to walk there to go to the dentist. He always gave me a ticket for a free ice cream cone in the soda shop, for being a good patient. The nuns would never leave the convent, so one of the older girls, or Betty Jo, would take me.
The boarders were never allowed to stay at the school on Holidays or during the summer. My brother, Bill, was 5 five years older than me and he was attending Mary Mount Military Academy in Parkland, nearby. On Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, my father would pick the three of us up and we would stay in a Hotel somewhere.
My father’s job kept him on the road all the time and he didn’t have a permanent residence. When we wrote him letters, we mailed them to his main office in Chicago and his boss would make sure he got them. I always knew when my father had arrived to pick us up because I could smell his cigar smoke wafting in the hallways.
We would have a ball staying in the Hotels. We ate in the restaurants and went to movies. This was a time when television was just starting to come into being and few people had television sets. If you were lucky enough to come upon a TV, there were only two channels and they weren’t “on” all of the time. Sometimes for hours during the daytime, there would just be a test pattern on the screen. So, movies were a very special treat. Back then we were particularly fond of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis movies.
I want to interject something I remember clearly about my father. He was bald, heavyset, very loud and outspoken. He was 45 when I was born and 17 years older than my mother. He continually embarrassed all of us wherever we went. I could go into lots of detail about that but I will save it for a later chapter. The nuns always welcomed him with big smiles and were very nice to him. His interpretation of their kindness and friendliness was that they were starved for male attention and were also very attracted to him.
He would always sit in one of the chairs in the Parlor so he was sitting at the front edge of the chair. With his legs spread, his balls would hang down over the edge of the chair. He thought he was giving the nuns a thrill, but I was always extremely embarrassed. My sister and I constantly pleaded with him to stop doing that but he did it every time.
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